What is normal?

Why can't both of these women be "normal?"

Since the Miss USA pageant this past Sunday, the majority of the commentary surrounding the pageant has involved Miss Indiana, Mekayla Diehl and her “normal” swimsuit body. Feedback has ranged from praise that Diehl’s body is realistic for a “real woman” (at the expense of criticizing the more thin contestants) to outraged pageant girls who feel that it is ridiculous that a woman who “didn’t train like she was competing for Miss USA” beat out other women who "trained harder."

Needless to say, I have several opinions. And criticisms. But they all boil down to one thing:

Why are we so obsessed with criticizing other women’s bodies?

First of all, none of us knows how Mekayla (or any of the other contestants) prepared for Miss USA. We don’t know what she ate, how often she worked out, if she took diet pills, or what her relationship with food/exercise looks like. We don’t know her unique genetic make up, her body fat percentage, or her hormonal composition.

We have no idea what “normal” looks like for Mekayla’s or for any of the other contestants’ unique biological make up and body type.

And while we’re at it, what the heck does normal even mean? Why are we so obsessed with finding the perfect comparison? And why does identifying one woman as “normal” equate to then putting down every other woman in the competition?

I watched the Miss USA pageant on Sunday (duh), and I was impressed at how many of the top 20 looked healthy. They looked toned, they looked happy, and they looked proud of what they had accomplished.

Each of us has a unique body type, unique nutritional needs, and a unique relationship with food and exercise. What is normal for one woman is not normal for another.

Which is why it is so ridiculous, and equally wrong, that other women are criticizing Diehl for being “not fit enough” for the Miss USA competition.

Swimsuit at Miss USA accounts for 33% of the score. Maybe Mekayla could have been leaner, or maybe she was as lean as she could get. Regardless, if a contestant decides that she does not want to (or cannot) follow the sure-fire no-carb, high cardio approach to get that last bit of fat off of her body to score higher in a category that accounts for one-third of her score, it’s her prerogative. It’s not our place to criticize her.

If Miss USA was chosen solely based on her fitness level or body fat percentage, we wouldn’t need a pageant. We’d just need measuring tape, a scale, and a notepad.

Why aren’t we capable of celebrating the unique, powerful, and special individuals that exist regardless of their weight, BMI, or body fat percentage? Our inability to do this reinforces to the younger generation that their worth is based on their outside packaging, rather than what is on the inside.

The issue is not “what is normal?” but rather, “why do we need to define normal at the expense of ‘abnormal?’”

It’s time to change that conversation.

What exactly does "Start the Conversation" mean?

This weekend, I'll be speaking about nutrition with a group of kids, and I've been thinking about my approach for the last few days. This will be my first planned time speaking on this topic to a group. While nutrition is something that I've been passionate about for a while, and a passion that I've shared on many, many occasions, this will be the first time that I'll have prepared a presentation and shared it.

I think it's fair to say I'm a little nervous.

But I'm also extremely excited. Public speaking is a passion of mine, and I am SO excited to talk to these kids about REAL food. About building a healthy relationship with food. About enjoying homemade cookies and made-from-scratch pizza every once in a while.

Start the Conversation is about rebuilding a healthy relationship with food. I think that we've gotten to the point where we're so obsessed with counting calories or carbs or labeling foods as bad that we don't appreciate food for what it is -- a cultural staple, our sustenance, and, most importantly, something to be enjoyed.

We feel like we can no longer enjoy the "secret family recipe" because it's made with butter or whole milk, and society tells us the calories are bad. But while we're scared to cook our food in olive oil, we're made to believe that eating cereal or microwave dinners made of countless ingredients we can't pronounce is somehow better for us.

I want to use this year to help people feel better about eating the real foods they love and less of the chemically flavored things that have been developed in a lab in order to reduce calories, fat, carbs, whatever. I want to share a message of moderation, one of enjoyment, and one of food appreciation. I want to help people stop obsessing over what they should and shouldn't eat, and instead use all of that energy towards enjoying life.

I'll share my weekend experience with you all on Sunday. If you have any advice for me for sharing this message with kids, please leave me a comment below!

I’m going to Miss Virginia!!

Yesterday, after meeting and competing with 12 other amazing women from all over the state of Virginia, I was given an incredible opportunity by being crowned Miss Greater Springfield 2013.

Over the next year, I will work to promote both the Children’s Miracle Network and my own personal platform, Start the Conversation, which encourages young women to begin talking about disordered eating. I am hoping to spend my year speaking to high school and college students and encouraging them to work with each other to rebuild a healthy relationship with food.

And, I’ll have the chance to compete to become Miss Virginia.

It still hasn’t hit me yet, and I’ve had several moments today where I turn to my parents and just reiterate “I’m going to Miss Virginia.”

If you are interested in donating to the Children’s Miracle Network, please go here. Your donation will directly benefit children, and will help me reach my goal of raising at least $350 for Miss Virginia.