What is normal?

Why can't both of these women be "normal?"

Since the Miss USA pageant this past Sunday, the majority of the commentary surrounding the pageant has involved Miss Indiana, Mekayla Diehl and her “normal” swimsuit body. Feedback has ranged from praise that Diehl’s body is realistic for a “real woman” (at the expense of criticizing the more thin contestants) to outraged pageant girls who feel that it is ridiculous that a woman who “didn’t train like she was competing for Miss USA” beat out other women who "trained harder."

Needless to say, I have several opinions. And criticisms. But they all boil down to one thing:

Why are we so obsessed with criticizing other women’s bodies?

First of all, none of us knows how Mekayla (or any of the other contestants) prepared for Miss USA. We don’t know what she ate, how often she worked out, if she took diet pills, or what her relationship with food/exercise looks like. We don’t know her unique genetic make up, her body fat percentage, or her hormonal composition.

We have no idea what “normal” looks like for Mekayla’s or for any of the other contestants’ unique biological make up and body type.

And while we’re at it, what the heck does normal even mean? Why are we so obsessed with finding the perfect comparison? And why does identifying one woman as “normal” equate to then putting down every other woman in the competition?

I watched the Miss USA pageant on Sunday (duh), and I was impressed at how many of the top 20 looked healthy. They looked toned, they looked happy, and they looked proud of what they had accomplished.

Each of us has a unique body type, unique nutritional needs, and a unique relationship with food and exercise. What is normal for one woman is not normal for another.

Which is why it is so ridiculous, and equally wrong, that other women are criticizing Diehl for being “not fit enough” for the Miss USA competition.

Swimsuit at Miss USA accounts for 33% of the score. Maybe Mekayla could have been leaner, or maybe she was as lean as she could get. Regardless, if a contestant decides that she does not want to (or cannot) follow the sure-fire no-carb, high cardio approach to get that last bit of fat off of her body to score higher in a category that accounts for one-third of her score, it’s her prerogative. It’s not our place to criticize her.

If Miss USA was chosen solely based on her fitness level or body fat percentage, we wouldn’t need a pageant. We’d just need measuring tape, a scale, and a notepad.

Why aren’t we capable of celebrating the unique, powerful, and special individuals that exist regardless of their weight, BMI, or body fat percentage? Our inability to do this reinforces to the younger generation that their worth is based on their outside packaging, rather than what is on the inside.

The issue is not “what is normal?” but rather, “why do we need to define normal at the expense of ‘abnormal?’”

It’s time to change that conversation.

You vs. You

Life is good, ya'll.

So good, that I have neglected this blog for (if we're being honest), about seven months. I've been busy with work, traveling all over the Southeast and Southwest, and I've been doing well! I'm back in the industry I want to be in, and I'm in a role that is both challenging and fulfilling. I've also been lucky to have just a few incredible people fall into my life.

But, if I'm being honest, I've gotten a little out of shape. Not fat, not completely out of shape, just soft. Slower. Not at my peak.

I'm coming back. Back to weightlifting, running, Bikram yoga, intermittent fasting, and blogging. I'd like to be an athlete again. And this time, I want to be better than I was before. 

So, you've heard it here first: I will be competing in Miss Virginia Beach USA on July 19th, and I will be competing in Miss Virginia USA in late November. I am going to beat myself at my peak - Summer 2012; me vs. me.

In the spirit of transparency, I'll be posting about my running, workouts, and nutrition here. And on Instagram, because, let's face it: I love Instagram. I'll also be sharing some of the books I'm reading, the goals I'm setting, and things that I'm learning (that you may also be interested in!).

Thanks for reading and for the continuous support. You all rock.

Lessons from Miss Virginia Part I: What I Told Them in Interview

Well, it's been a little over a week since I got back from Roanoke, where I competed to become Miss Virginia. I was honored to make the top 11 in a group of 26 inspiring, smart, and beautiful women who I came to love a whole lot over the course of the week.

I could probably write a novel about what I experienced and learned, how I was inspired, and how I grew, but I don't think you want to read all that :) What I do want to do is write a little about my interview, because it really speaks to why I was even competing in a swimsuit competition in the first place (hint! The swimsuit competition is just a means to an end). I'll write a more general post tomorrow about my entire experience.

top 11 gown - Julius Tolentino

monologue - Julius Tolentino

prelim swimsuit

My interview kicked off with questions about SEC football changing to a rotating conference schedule (no, seriously), my job with Delta Gamma, and ways to provide healthy food to low income families. And then, I was asked about my various interests and where Miss Virginia fit into them. Here's the gist of what I told the judges:

I was competing to become Miss Virginia because I absolutely, positively wanted the job. Because if I could put down on paper the job that I wanted to have at 24, traveling the state as Miss Virginia was (and is) it. Because I had already had a job where I lived out of a suitcase, traveled all over the country, and inspired women. It was a job that challenged and fulfilled me on a daily basis, and it was a job that I very much wanted the opportunity to do again.

I wanted to be Miss Virginia not only to impact the lives of little girls but because I believe that Miss Virginia is also the perfect platform to empower and inspire women.

As it stands, the Miss America Organization is the world's largest provider of college scholarships for women, and last year alone, it provided nearly $50 million in scholastic assistance to women at the local, state, and national level. Clearly MAO empowers contestants to achieve their scholastic and career ambitions already, but what if we took it to the next level?

What if, by speaking on college campuses and having real conversations with women, Miss Virginia (and ultimately Miss America) could inspire and empower her own generation -- even those women who will never enter a Miss America preliminary? I was competing because I know that Miss Virginia can be that role model for women that our generation really needs.

Miss America isn't just a pageant. It is a values-based organization, building and rewarding well rounded women who are driven to succeed in whatever field they choose. By building relationships with and inspiring her peers, Miss Virginia (or Miss America) becomes a role model for college-aged women, and ultimately inspires participation in local preliminaries by women who may have never considered competing in a pageant.

It's just like sorority recruitment. People don't join organizations, people join people. In this case, women join women. If you are able to communicate the values of the organization in your words and actions through building relationships, women want to be a part of your organization because they understand the value the organization can give them.

My story of my year would have been one of empowerment, inspiration, and recruiting new women to be a part of an incredible organization. I envisioned closed local preliminaries at colleges and universities throughout the state, much like in Georgia, as a way for MAO to widen its circle of influence.

I was competing because not only did I want the job of Miss Virginia, but I knew that I could do the job of Miss Virginia.

And while I may not have won, the judges did select a fantastic representative of our group of 26 winners. Desiree Williams is a role model for women; I know I certainly look up to her. She's smart, fit, driven, personable, and successful in pursuing her passions.

Look how much we love her - Julius Tolentino

And I cannot wait to cheer her on at Miss America.

Swimsuit winners don't cleanse

If you compete in pageants, you have most likely heard of thepageantplanet.com. This website, which publishes articles about (you guessed it) pageantry, has essentially established itself as the go-to resource for girls and women competing in pageants across the country.

Which is why it is so disappointing that over the last two weeks, the site has re-publicized two articles that promote unhealthy ways to lose weight. One gives girls "3 Ways to Lose 5 Pounds in a Week" and another encourages them to "Cleanse Your Body Before Pageant Week."

Here's the reality, supported by research: Cleanses are bad for you.

Adult women are educated and mature enough to make decisions about their bodies. And if adult women were the only people meant to read The Pageant Planet, I would understand and acknowledge the site's right to publish whatever opinions they want. Heck, that's what I do on my blog!

Unfortunately, the fact of the matter is, Pageant Planet also caters to teen, and even pre-teen, contestants. In fact, they feature several interviews with pre-teen pageant queens. Young girls aren't old enough to be able to discern opinion from fact.

Call me crazy, but I feel like as a blog that is presenting itself as a resource has an obligation to present accurate and factual information, or at least to distinguish when "expert" opinions are opinions. Instead, by encouraging women to "cleanse" or do multiple body wraps, The Pageant Planet is not only ignoring its social responsibility, but it's not even doing its purported job: helping women win pageants.

Here are the facts: Lifestyle and Fitness (that's swimsuit) winners in the Miss America system win because they live a healthy lifestyle. They lift weights and go running and eat unprocessed foods and enjoy the occasional cookie. They don't lose their weight in the last week by dehydrating themselves through a cleanse or depriving themselves of carbs.

That's the whole point of the swimsuit competition. If they were crowning the skinniest girl or the girl who weighed the least, they'd just need to take each contestant's measurements or have them step on a scale. I would be willing to bet that more often than not, the Lifestyle and Fitness winner does not weigh in as the lightest girl in the competition because she has muscle that she's worked hard to build.

Titleholders and "experts" within the pageant community have an obligation to promote healthy decisions. Especially when you know that little girls are watching (or, in this case, reading).

Agree or disagree? Let me know.

Food is supposed to be fun: the real food experiment

If you've been following me on facebook, instagram, twitter, real life, or this blog, you know that I'll be competing in Miss Virginia in June. You also probably know that my platform, You are HOW you Eat, centers around healthy eating habits, talking about disordered eating, and eschewing dieting.

In an effort to proverbially put my money where my mouth is, I will be following a "real food" eating plan in preparation for Miss Virginia. While striving to eat clean the majority of the time, I'll also be incorporating meals eaten from the restaurant group I work for 3-4 times a week. These meals are prepared from scratch, and include real ingredients like butter, whole milk, cream, and oil in their preparation.

Yes, I'm going to eat all of that and still walk on the stage fitter than I did when I competed for Miss Greater Springfield:


photo credit: julius tolentino

Sounds like disaster for a girl who's gotta be on stage in a swimsuit in six months, huh?

I don't think it has to be. I'm on a mission to prove that ANYONE can navigate a restaurant menu (even one without nutrition facts), make healthy choices, and even eat real dessert (not just frozen yogurt) sometimes, all while moving towards your health and fitness goals.

My platform hinges on the idea that food is supposed to be fun: fun to eat, fun to share with your family, fun to prepare.

I post everything I eat in a daily collage through my instagram account. Hold me accountable, get inspired, and check out some seriously delicious looking food.

PS: I just got a fitocracy account too... You can follow my workouts on there!

Excitement.

This photo graced the front of the Fairfax Connection today:

First of all, this was a total surprise, because I thought there was just going to be an article. Instead, I somehow found my way onto the cover of both the Springfield and Fairfax Connection, with an article and some pictures inside of both.

And I'm going to be honest, I felt a little bit like I felt in the picture above when I found my face folded up in the driveway. Pretty cool stuff, I think.

I love this picture (by MacCabe Jamrosz of the Connection Newspapers) because it captures the excitement and the joy of the moment.

I've been feeling excited a lot lately. It just feels like there's a lot of new opportunities happening in my life, and it's exciting to think of all of the new experiences I'm going to get to have this year.

Like working with Girls on the Run.

Today I had my first meeting with the head coach for the Girls on the Run team I'll be working with as an assistant coach over the next few months. Starting next Tuesday, we'll have a group of 18 elementary school girls who we'll coach to run a 5k as well as talk about all sorts of things, from fueling for a run to making friends. I'm excited to help young girls find a passion for running and being active, and I'm sure I'll be posting about all I learn on here.

I also found myself back in the gym, lifting weights for the first time in a while. I always forget how much I love lifting weights until I'm back in the gym. I'm pretty sure I'm going to feel my shoulders in a whole new way tomorrow, but I'm kind of looking forward to it.

PS - Did anyone else see Simon Cowell throw the double thumbs up on X-Factor last night? If only he knew it was my signature move...

I’m going to Miss Virginia!!

Yesterday, after meeting and competing with 12 other amazing women from all over the state of Virginia, I was given an incredible opportunity by being crowned Miss Greater Springfield 2013.

Over the next year, I will work to promote both the Children’s Miracle Network and my own personal platform, Start the Conversation, which encourages young women to begin talking about disordered eating. I am hoping to spend my year speaking to high school and college students and encouraging them to work with each other to rebuild a healthy relationship with food.

And, I’ll have the chance to compete to become Miss Virginia.

It still hasn’t hit me yet, and I’ve had several moments today where I turn to my parents and just reiterate “I’m going to Miss Virginia.”

If you are interested in donating to the Children’s Miracle Network, please go here. Your donation will directly benefit children, and will help me reach my goal of raising at least $350 for Miss Virginia.