On #Huddle14, happiness, and that moment of "wow."

There I was in the middle of the dance floor at Senor Frogs. Surrounded by new friends who had spent the last two days inspiring me, smiling in a moment of reflection and realization, with some overplayed pop song (that I can't remember, but can guarantee I totally love) in the background.

This past weekend, I had the incredible opportunity to attend CAMPUSPEAK Huddle in Orlando, Florida. Some of you may know that I've joined the CAMPUSPEAK family as an Interactive Workshops facilitator. This past weekend was an opportunity to be trained on the workshops I will be facilitating, attend breakout sessions, and interact with other CAMPUSPEAK facilitators and speakers.

So anyways, we were at Senor Frogs, enjoying each other's company, and I just had this moment of "wow."

One year ago, I worked for a company that I believed in, but in a role that bored me. I wasn't challenged, and I wasn't growing, and I had absolutely no idea how I was going to get out. My passion had drained, I stopped working out as much, and I'd come home and binge watch old TV series on Netflix (not a terrible idea, just not a super great every night activity). There I was, making enough money to live comfortably and do the things I loved, and I wasn't doing them. I was existing, not thriving, and I was unhappy.

If you had asked June 2013 Jen where she would be in exactly one year, the answer would not have been "Surrounded by some of the most inspiring people I have ever met, pursuing my passion, and impacting lives." No way. 

And yet, here I am. It is June 2014, and I am happy. Genuinely, authentically, happy. 

What I have learned in the last year is that we have complete control over our own lives. Sure, we don't necessarily have control over what happens to us, but we always have control over how we choose to react. We control how we view our situation. And we control whether or not we remain complacent or if we do something about it.

So there I was in Orlando, surrounded by people who inspire me and people who have been my mentors since I was an undergraduate, and it hit me. My life right now is remarkably different from my life one year ago, and in ways I never could have imagined. Somehow, through a year of choices - some super significant, and some not as much - I have ended up here. My choices determine my life -- I am in complete control of designing it to be exactly how I want it to be. And how freaking cool is that?

Because I was never a runner, until I was.

I run because every mile, even when it is actually kind of miserable, is filled with pure joy.

Joy.

Because there is nothing like doing what you never thought you could do.

Post Springfield 15k: Race #7 in seven weeks.

Because it gives me much needed time with my own thoughts.

Because I was never a runner, until I was.

Because I am not defined by the speed I run or how good I look doing it, but instead by accomplishing what I set out to do.



Not looking good doing it, but still accomplishing marathon #2 in less than five months.

Because it is a passion that has blessed me with the opportunity to be a role model.

My Girls on the Run post Spring 5k.

Because it makes me feel alive.

And, because I really, really, REALLY like carbs.

Happy National Running Day! Why do you run?

On food guilt

We've all seen ads like this one:

As someone who has dealt with binge eating before, I know what it feels like to feel guilty after eating certain foods. Granted, it's probably a little bit different when you've just eaten half a pizza or a large bag of M&M's in one sitting (throwback to senior year of college), but I think at one point or another, all of us have experienced guilt after eating something we "shouldn't have."

Diets can do that to you because they create a mindset of deprivation. Your list isn't of what you can eat, it's of what you can't eat. Carbs. Bread. Candy. Fried food. Pizza. When you're operating under the dieting mindset, it's totally normal that you're going to experience guilt when you "lose your willpower" or "cheat."

But, you guys, can we stop it? Please? Because the reality is, you make a lot of food choices every day: what time will you eat breakfast, what will you eat for breakfast, how much will you eat? Do you want to add condiments to your sandwich or sugar to your coffee? Making those choices, which you're pretty much going to have to make every day, shouldn't be stressing you out more than the real decisions you have to make in regards to your family, your job, or your friends.

You know what feeling guilty does to you? It makes you stressed out. It makes you emotional. And, if you're like 22-year-old-Jen-who-secretly-binge-ate, it probably makes you continue to make "bad" food choices.

The fact of the matter is, if you're making healthy choices 80% of the time, the other 20% isn't going to impact you. And, you're going to be motivated by how making healthier choices makes you feel. By adding more nourishing foods to your life, you're going to find yourself not craving the not so nourishing foods a whole lot less.

Diets don't work. They don't work because you cannot constantly live in a deprivation mindset. It's negative, it's counterproductive, and, gosh darnit, it's going to drive you crazy. Instead, take some advice from one of my favorite food documentaries, Hungry for Change, and focus on what you can add. More greens? More bananas? A smoothie full of fruits and veggies in the morning? Each of those things is going to make you feel great, and may even curb some of your cravings.

But if you want cookies or ice cream or pizza, eat it, and don't feel guilty about it. You're not "cheating" on a diet, you're making one of a hundred food choices you're going to make in a week as part of your healthy lifestyle. That's it.

Happiness is a choice.

 

Here’s a shocking fact: bad things happen to everybody. Okay, so maybe it’s not that shocking. But for a few months earlier this year, it was shocking for me.

 

It’s not like I’ve never had anything bad happen to me; of course I have. But the way I felt was new – and for two months, I wallowed, I pity-partied, and I told everyone who would listen about my plight.

 

At some point, I got sick of being the only person at my pity party, and decided that I could create the life I wanted. I signed up for a marathon, I registered for my first pageant in three years, I started blogging more. And in the last several months, amazing things have happened: I landed a fantastic job, I ran a marathon, and I earned my way to the Miss Virginia stage – somewhere I never thought I would be competing. All of those things have happened not because I am special or lucky, but because I refuse, on a daily basis, to allow things I cannot change impact my attitude.

 

Bad things happen to everybody. And most of the time, they’re bad things that you have zero control over: getting rejected from your dream college, someone breaking your heart, someone saying something mean. But you know what I’ve learned in the last nine months? While you have zero control over what happens, you have 100% control over how you react to it.

 

Positivity is a choice. Being happy is a choice. Proactively going after everything you’ve ever wanted in life is a choice. Change what you can, accept what you can’t, move on from your past. Forgive people who have hurt you, and stop letting them take up your time, your thoughts, and your energy. All of those things are too valuable to be taken up by people and things that do not serve you.

 

Today, be kind to yourself. Go for a run, read a good book, eat your favorite ice cream. Call your best friend or your parents, make that recipe you’ve been dying to try from Pinterest, volunteer. Write down all of those things you’ve always wanted to do, and go do them.

 

Why not?